Saturday 4 September 10

Today is a day that I want to capture and know how to recreate.  Nothing especially spectacular has happened.  The children played out, my heart was broken as usual for the struggles that Adan has, I don't like the culture here, I want so much more, but I am in the elusive happy place of being sad about the dream that is no longer a reality, and missing the things that I desperately miss, and the people that I long to have in my life that are too far away, but I am filled with love and gratefulness for the things and people that I do have near to me.  My children are my world and I will always be in love with them.  Al is my man.  He is the man.  He is the only man that has allowed me to feel free and accepted enough to let all of this pour out and still know that I am passionately and unconditionally loved.  He is the only person other than Kirsty who knows that I feel differently about the the world and about life, and although he won't ever really understand the depth of what goes on in my head, he understands and accepts fully that it is me and he doesn't care, he just loves me.  Truly, truly, truly loves me.  And I thank the universe for all of the blessings that I have.  Please, please, please let me figure out to just be like this xxxx